The Story Behind Protone

Protone is acutally the name of a map I made a long time ago. Back then I knew nothing of cubemaps, HDR, or any of that fancy stuff. It was just another map no one downloads. You know the kind.

Anyway, back then the name stood for Prototype-One. I shortened it to Protone because it sounds sorta cool. Alas, that would mean any sequal would logically be called Prototwo which in turn sounds ridiculous. This means we are now at Protone_01 which might afford you some odd glances if you said it out loud anywhere except one of those vulgar techno raves.

There's a lot of things that'll set this remake apart from the original. Yes, a much greater understanding of Hammer and proper construct aesthetics are foremost but remember the original Protone was made before Team Fortress 2 came out.

This really has no practical implications towards this project but it certainly lends itself to assimilation into the creative process.

The original Protone had very little to do. Imagine a big square blotch of grass with boxy buildings at every corner surrounded by a bland looking wall and you've got a basic idea of the original. As I have already said, Protone_01 will have a tonne of various clickables and pressables and a huge pit that the player can fall down. This is very important.

Until next time, I'll be shooting flaming arrows into a crowded used car lot.

Protone

How long has it been? Seventeen days? Already? That's right, seventeen days since Paranoia was uploaded to garrysmod.org. Put simply, I am flabbergasted at how popular it has become. As we speak it has been downloaded 1443 times (even more after this post was published LOL) and it has rocketed to the front page of the maps section on the website. That practically means that Garry himself considers Paranoia more important than 2739 other maps (citation needed). I really don't know what to make of this. How long can my humble little piece of work sustain this? Will it stay this popular forever?

Either way, this post is not about Paranoia. No.

Remember when I said after it was finished that I finally had time to enjoy life again without some big obligation looming over me? Of course you don't because no one reads this blog. But incase you did I would like you to meet Protone. Sorry, no pictures or videos to show you yet. But I am making a new map. This time around it'll probably be nowhere near as big an undertaking as Paranoia because it will be a construct, as in, for Garry's Mod Sandbox.

You see, I have a problem with most of the constructs people upload: They're ugly. They're boring. The people who make them would have a heart attack. A HEART ATTACK. if you dared even think about REUPLOADING their masterpieces.

Pfffft, as if that means anything.

Protone will be different. There will be prop_statics as far as the eye can see and a disco palace and a huge pit that the player can fall in.

Anywho, more on this later. Right now I'm just trying to get a basic skeleton of it laid out.

Paranoia, LOL.

Tales from Steam Chat: Volume One

Last week, or maybe later, I posted a little excerpt from a conversation I had with my friends on the Software Distribution System/Social Networking...Thingy Steam. As you who were involved would know, I have conversations like this all the time. As in, every conversation. Some might say this is a problem that's quickly drifting into my social like off the Internet as well. For better or for worse, this is a quick peek into the dark cynical world of my social circle. It would be better to imagine it as a film noir sort of affair as we take a look into Tales from Steam Chat: Volume One.

[Team Demo] Ou812: im fat enough
Shadgrimgrvy: I disagree. As your attourney I advise you to eat everything in the crate marked "Hamburgers" that I sent to your office. Your dirty dilapitated office.
[Team Demo] Ou812: oh you sent that
Shadgrimgrvy: Yeah.
[Team Demo] Ou812: hmm , well this is ...well this is bad
[Team Demo] Ou812: you see i felt i had no need for hamburger
[Team Demo] Ou812: so i sent it to you as a gift , not knowing you sent of course
[Team Demo] Ou812: except in the crate marked "babies"
Shadgrimgrvy: I wouldn't eat them. I can smell the difference.
[Team Demo] Ou812: well it was a gag i didnt know you woul....Erhm
[Team Demo] Ou812: well this again is very embarrasing
Shadgrimgrvy: What isn't embarrassing with you involved!?
Shadgrimgrvy: As your attorney I advise you to listen to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iH33RIfi2KI
[Team Demo] Ou812: ok
Shadgrimgrvy: I also advise you to skip to 1:30.
[Team Demo] Ou812: this is the stupdest thing
Shadgrimgrvy: You don't even know.
[Team Demo] Ou812: true music
[Team Demo] Ou812: from Iceland
[Team Demo] Ou812: http://music.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=music.artistalbums&artistid=1845473&ap=0&albumid=5290
Shadgrimgrvy: You know what else comes from Iceland? Bjork; your argument is invalid.
[Team Demo] Ou812: but these guys
[Team Demo] Ou812: made up thier own language
Shadgrimgrvy: Sounds like more of your hippie garbage.
[Team Demo] Ou812: and use vocals as an instrument
Shadgrimgrvy: That tears it, it's hippie stuph.
Shadgrimgrvy: Man, Art of Noise was BIG in the 80's.
[Team Demo] Ou812: yeah WHEN THE HIPPIES DIED
Shadgrimgrvy: For the good of the whole world too!
[Team Demo] Ou812: now they are back
[Team Demo] Ou812: a musical renaiscance is among us!
Shadgrimgrvy: http://www.cracked.com/funny-2081-hippies/ KNOW ABOUT IT.
[Team Demo] Ou812: hey the music festivals wedge is missing
[Team Demo] Ou812: you think that they would fix that before posting it
Shadgrimgrvy: Hang on, I'll find it.
Shadgrimgrvy: http://www.cracked.com/article/116_5-facts-about-woodstock-hippies-dont-want-you-to-know/ KNOW ABOUT IT.
[Team Demo] Ou812: i love hippies
Shadgrimgrvy: You are a hippocrite and you are a demoman and you smell because YOU. DON'T. BATHE.
[Team Demo] Ou812: why would i ?
[Team Demo] Ou812: my bodies oils are perfectly suffiecient as a cologne and dedoderant and shampoo
Shadgrimgrvy: Your oils only serve in the plot to corrupt MY glands.
Shadgrimgrvy: Which is disgusting.
[Team Demo] Ou812: i dissagree
[Team Demo] Ou812 is now Offline.

Paranoia!

It's finally finished! After over half a year of work my magnum opus of mapping is finally done.
Go get it!

But what does the future hold next? Without the responsibility of a map to make will I wither away with out relevance? Will I finally be able to just enjoy my vacation without having to do work? The future is now and all I want to do is play S.T.A.L.K.E.R.

Seriously guys (assuming theres more than one of you) go download Paranoia, you won't regret it.

This

Shadgrimgrvy: SNUGGIE.
Fereles: Picture frames.
Shadgrimgrvy: Mental Hospital.
Fereles: Mad cow disease.
Shadgrimgrvy: Geneva Convention.
Fereles: Campbells chicken noodle soup.
Shadgrimgrvy: Bruce Campbell.
Fereles: Litter.
Shadgrimgrvy: Broomstick Handle Mauser C96.
Fereles: BAR rifle.
Shadgrimgrvy: Pretzels.
Fereles: Napkins.
Shadgrimgrvy: Plastic Forks.
Fereles: Airsoft rifle.
Fereles is now playing Garry's Mod. Click here to join.
Shadgrimgrvy: Springfield Rifle.
Fereles: Chest of rocks.
Shadgrimgrvy: Crabs.
Fereles: Punk.
Shadgrimgrvy: Fascist.
Fereles: Leadership.
Shadgrimgrvy: Victory.
Fereles: Defeat.
Shadgrimgrvy: Ayn Rand.
Fereles: Soda.
Shadgrimgrvy: Crossbows.
Fereles: Bacon.
Shadgrimgrvy: Surrender.
Fereles: Peelz.
Shadgrimgrvy: Nannerpuss.
Fereles: Topography.
Shadgrimgrvy: Unidentified Flying Objects.
Fereles: Poloroid cameras.
Shadgrimgrvy: Sylar.
Fereles: Pickles.
Shadgrimgrvy: Pencil Sharpeners.
Fereles: Jars.
Shadgrimgrvy: JARATE!
Fereles: Debates.
Shadgrimgrvy: Saxton Hale.
Fereles: Commentary
Shadgrimgrvy: I admit victory.
Fereles: Nardwuar.
Shadgrimgrvy: I'm sleepy and sad.
Fereles: cashews.
Shadgrimgrvy: Peanuts.
Fereles: Eyeballs.
Shadgrimgrvy: Bodily Fluids.
Fereles: Pupil
Shadgrimgrvy: Yellow.
Fereles: Adrenaline rush
Shadgrimgrvy: Coffee Mugs.
Fereles: Zorbees
Shadgrimgrvy: Awesome Auger.
Fereles: Samsung.
Shadgrimgrvy: Warner Music Group.
Fereles: Wrapper.
Shadgrimgrvy: Electric Light Orchestra.
Fereles: Surge Protector.
Shadgrimgrvy: DEVO.
Fereles: Plates.
Shadgrimgrvy: Centipeds.
Fereles: Keyboard
Shadgrimgrvy: Bath Salts.
Fereles: Caramel.
Shadgrimgrvy: Swords.
Fereles: Popcorn popper
Shadgrimgrvy: Magic Salt and Pepper Shakers.
Fereles: Unconquerable
Shadgrimgrvy: STALKERs.
Fereles: Dehumidifier
Shadgrimgrvy: Kritzkriegs.
Fereles: Blitzkrieg
Your chat with Fereles is now a multi-user chat.
Fereles has been invited to chat.
UH STRAYNJER has been invited to chat.
UH STRAYNJER entered chat.
Shadgrimgrvy: Panzerfausts.
Fereles: Zeppelin
Shadgrimgrvy: HA!
Shadgrimgrvy: I ALREADY SAID BARON VON ZEPPELIN!
Shadgrimgrvy: YOU LOSE!
Fereles disconnected.
UH STRAYNJER: ilose
Shadgrimgrvy: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
UH STRAYNJER left chat.
Shadgrimgrvy: HAHAHAHAH