Friday, January 27, 2012

Pearly Whites

As I understand, having dreams about one's teeth falling out is a pretty common occurrence. Usually, the dreamer's teeth rot and detach in large handfuls, leaving the dreamer distressed as they think their dental faux pas is actually happening. The most common explanation for this kind of dream is that it's a manifestation of social anxiety and lack of confidence, as much of our personal appearance is tied to our smile. Naturally, this isn't good enough. My brain and I have agreed that if we're going to have such a common, lowbrow dream we're going to do it in style...

Last night's dream started innocuous enough, I was sitting on some couch talking to someone-or-another, it might have been Henry Kissinger. I remember it was dark and gloomy wherever we were, like we were in a haunted house of some kind. Suddenly I go upstairs and go to bed. As I pull the covers over me I feel a strange sensation in my teeth, like something is pulling on them. I open my mouth as a sickening crack echoes and my tooth violently tears itself out of my mouth. I could see the gaping hole in my gum as the tooth crumbled to ash on top of the bed.

Suddenly, I feel one of my molars ripping itself in half inside my mouth, accompanied by the same loud cracking, like a mountain being torn apart. One by one my teeth painfully explode. Enamel shrapnel flies around the room and ricochets off the walls as my mouth fills with blood. Eventually, I'm completely without teeth, only a painful throbbing were they uprooted.

Against all odds, I manage to fall asleep and start dreaming. I find myself in an abandoned elementary school in the middle of a forest. I start to explore and soon find more people, aimlessly wandering in the ruins. I scan the landscape for anything useful. All I find are the dazed, purposeless people. They walk around the buildings without any agency of their own, quietly gibbering in their nonsense language.

A bicycle materializes and I ride it up one of the mountains surrounding the school. The woods are thick and the forest floor is covered in soft moss and early morning dew. I climb higher, the peak is impossibly tall and an almost completely vertical ascent. Near the top is a little town where the forest ends and the icy peak begins. Unlike real resort towns, there are no quaint cabins here, only brutally modern coffee shops, post-modern expressions in glass and steel. Fey looking hipsters skip in and out of the largest one as I feel my blood boil. In my rage, I steal a car and drive off the cliff.

When I wake up, I'm delighted to find that my teeth haven't exploded. At least I assume I've woke up.


Chanel said...

Wake up, Mr. Freemen. Wake up and, smell the ashes.

Ed Hochhalter said...

What a relief. Good thing it was all just a dream. Do you always get nightmares? The horrifying thing was the tooth violently tore itself out of your mouth. Geez, that's probably one of the most terrible dreams I've ever heard of.

Shadgrimgrvy said...

Oh I get worse. Usually my nightmares are more introspective, I find myself getting criticized by whatever monster I meet in these dreams. But it's alright, I'm a professional. I know how to handle these kind of situations.

Meanwhile, if I'm ever in Tucson and urgently need dental work I'll know who to call.

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