Sunday, September 4, 2011

Album Covers of Doom

It might be hard to believe but more often then not I'm wallowing in a pit of depression. I'm overcome with ennui and self-doubt with startling frequency. It's been happening much more often recently, I just sit around thinking "What's the point?", "Why am I even here?". At times like these I'm all but inconsolable, there's only one thing that can pull me up from the depths of my own depression.

Album covers are not it.

Manners by Passion Pit

Manners hearkens back to Jack Pollock's "prozac" period.

Lionel Richie by Lionel Richie

Lionel's producer wanted to show the world the "real" Lionel Richie with his first album. To make sure the picture was authentic, the camera-crew hastily threw an orange background behind him as he was strolling down the street and took the photo right there. This ground-breaking technique later came to be known as the "surpise photo-shoot".

Ridgo the 4th

"You storm my castle, you kill my knights and now you claim my daughter as your bride!? Who are you traveler!?"

The warrior simply stood in the hall of the King, with the princess upon his shoulders.

"I am Ridgo the 4th," He said. "I claim your land in the name of smooth jazz."

Entertainment by Fischerspoon

Fischerspoon has defeated Ziggy Stardust in mortal combat and now he's come to conquer the Earth. Resistance is futile, with his hypno-helmet no one can escape his weaponized "elektro-muzik".

"Can I Borrow A Feelin'?"

In this case "Feelin'" is a codeword for "a couple dollars".

And no, you can't.

Love Beach by Emerson Lake and Palmer

It was almost the end of the 70's and ELP had come to embody everything people hated about Prog Rock. They were called over-blown and pretensions by critics and fans the world over. Unfortunately for them, and for all of us, they were contractually obligated to make one last album.

And thus, ELP released their final weapon of revenge against the world, codenamed "Love Beach".

Amazing Grace by The Celebration Road Show

Call me cynical, but I don't see much to celebrate about.

Burn This Town by Battleaxe

Billy's previous magnus opus depicting Mrs. William being disemboweled by biker-sharks received little critical acclaim (and got him detention for his efforts). It was finally his time to shine when Battleaxe approached him to design the cover for their most recent album.

Eulenspygel 2

Eulenspygel put an end to the "chicken or the egg" argument the only way they knew how: with extreme prejudice.


Heino beckons you to join him at Menudo's next photo-shoot at Sears.

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