Monday, July 11, 2011

Thinking About Them Things

If there's one thing I like it's underground parking structures. They seem so futuristic to me, in a cyberpunk kind of way.

If there was ever a calamity that ended civilization I think I'd try living in a parking garage, even if it was for a little while. It wouldn't even be a big disaster either, 75% of the population would still be around and there I would be, hunkered down in my garage. Like a spider.

Keeping the electricity on would be an issue most likely and the threat of hobo invasion is an ever present one. Still, I could create my own garage society down there. They're practically bunkers. I could ally myself with the aforementioned disenfranchised invaders and we could set up a free market economy down there. We could use bottle caps as money.

Even if the garage itself wasn't viable for habitation I would still try out the air vents at the very least.

I'd like to think there's a secret shadow-civilization of people who have adapted for life in air vents. Perhaps in earlier generations the air vent people were secret agents sneaking into bases but got stuck, or maybe scientists fleeing their labs but got lost. They could even be hobos.

Either way, an entire generation of people got lost in the depths of the air conditioning system and started to mutate. We just don't know they're in our vents because their snake-like bodies don't make sound when moving through the vents. Plus, since they only feed on algae and whatever they can scavenge from the snack machine they hardly make a dent on the garage economy (after all, who's going to notice a few missing twinkies ever month or so?).

Who knows what they could be doing up there; staring at us as we dress, rerouting the pipes to create a makeshift spa from the redirected water heater, stealing cable, maybe they're even planning on stealing our precious bottle caps.

No, that won't do. I'm moving to one of those decommissioned ICBM silos. I heard they're actually cheaper then most houses.


mom said...

Ive actually thought about this before. I believe a parking garage would be a good place to set up home in case of alien invasion. Most aliens would be too large to fit in a garage so you would be safe. plus lots of hidey holes to hide in. we must be related.

Shadgrimgrvy said...

Absolutely, especially if the alien is some manner of Gargantua or perhaps a tripod. Though, I know for certain that if it was a Shoggoth invasion the people of the parking garage would be doomed.

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