The Worst

Oh mercy, what is this get this out of here-

You're Getting Hysterical

The diner was full of people. Kim was huddled in the corner of her booth, waiting for her Eggs Benedict. The opened envelope was hidden under her napkin so she wouldn't have to see it. Without a doubt, this was the worst news she had gotten yet. There was no living with this hanging over her head. If this got out, if Daniels knew, she'd have to move to a new city, change her name...

The waitress came by with her breakfast as Kim went through all the possible solutions in her head. She certainly couldn't go to Debbie about this, not this time. No. This was it. She would have to leave the country this time. Oh god, what if Daniels already knew? If felt like someone was watching her. Got to get out. The heat in the diner was stifling, the walls were closing in...

Wait, someone was watching her. Sitting a few tables away, no, it couldn't be...a long necked creature like a llama, covered in bright purple wool with green spots. And it was looking right at her. The strange animal started walking to her booth, she noticed a pair of broad wings like a peacock's and a hissing snake in place of a tail.

"So what's the matter yeah?" It said as it sat down across from her.

"What-"

"Yeah I'm your spirit animal. Look I heard about your problem."

"How do you know-"

"I'm your spirit animal I just know these things."

"What?"

Was this really happening? Kim glanced around the diner, checking to see if others could see the bizarre animal talking to her. No one seemed to notice.

"So have you talked to Debbie?" It said.

"What? No way, she can't know about this."

"It's not that bad."

"Not that bad-I...did you even read the letter?"

"I don't have to. I just know."

The llama started helping itself to her breakfast. It's snake tail was writhing around the table behind them, breathing fire at the patrons. Again no one seemed to notice.

"Are you sure you're my spirit animal?"

"Sure, why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know, I just feel like I should be having some cosmic revelation in order to see you."

"Look, you're in pretty bad shape here, I figured it was a good idea to help so I'm here. There's no rule saying I can't."

"You just said it wasn't a problem."

"Well not anymore, seeing as how I'm here."

Kim started to notice people watching her.

"Can other people see you?"

"The way I see it, there's nothing you can expect to do about this."

He pointed to the letter with a wooly hoof. "But I have a solution that doesn't involve any phone calls or moving vans or what have you."

"I'm just worried people think I'm talking to myself."

"Kim."

"What?"

"Come with me. I could bring you to my home realm: a magical place of emerald mountains and never ending white sand beaches. You could start a new life there and see the world from a whole new perspective."

"I can't just run away like that."

"Isn't that what you were going to do anyway? What city will you move to now? What will your name be this time? Yehuda?"

"Even if I could-" Kim noticed everyone in the diner was staring at her. "I mean, how do I know you're really here? You just show up and promise to take all my problems away. How do I know you're not some stress-induced hallucination? It wouldn't be the first time either. Here I am, arguing with my spirit animal and everyone is watching."

"Alright fine. Don't want my help? Then accept that you're yelling at an imaginary friend and you'll probably be thrown out of here for being a crazy lady. Or you could take a chance and trust me, then I really can make all your problems go away."

The multicolored llama crossed it's forelimbs waiting for an answer. The waitress had gone back to the kitchen to nervously whisper with the fry cook. A cold bead of sweat ran down Kim's forehead as she met the stares of the other patrons. Everyone was silent.

"Okay...fine. Just get me out of here before I embarrass myself."

"Just kidding, you actually are having a nervous breakdown."

"Wait, what?"

"Nah, just kidding again. But seriously, hop on my back. Let's get out of here."