Mandelbrot's Lament

Spacelander

By Tyler Baray

"How does this keep happening to me?" Udil thought to himself.

He gave up screaming several minutes ago when it became clear he wasn't going to stop falling anytime soon. At least it felt like falling. Udil couldn't tell what direction he was going in anymore. A brightly colored field of swirling abstract shapes was rapidly approaching, like the surface of some alien world. He held his arms in front of his face in a vain attempt to protect himself, but the "ground" never came any closer. The swirling, twisting shapes flew on by but no solid surface ever came to greet him. It was as if Udil was falling into the increasingly small, intricate details of an immense painting.

On and on he "fell". Air rushed past his face. His legs flapped around like strips of uncooked bacon. His beard flailed wildly in the wind for hours on end. As time went by and he fell further into the vortices he started to recognize some of the shapes racing by: spirals, twists, something like a giant black clover or heart, as if they were repeating the further in he went. The details were closing in, swirling around him as they emerged from the luminous haze below. The surface became a tunnel as the twisting clusters of light morphed into bands of solid color. He fell further, right into the pupils of dozens of spiraling eye-like shapes, bands of green, purple and pink radiating outward like a star. It became a tunnel of light as he felt himself picking up speed. The tunnel became a chaotic blur as he flew faster and faster. He shielded his eyes from the intense glare, catching a glimpse of the same heart-shape from earlier. He hurtled past it, falling into the infinitesimal gulfs and ridges along it's edge. Suddenly, he was back at the top again.

At least he thought he was. Wherever he was, it looked so much like the rest of the landscape he couldn't tell whether he was still falling in or not. He tried to look around but the rushing air stung his eyes. Further and further he went, past the repeating shapes for what felt like a whole day. By the third or fourth time he fell through the "heart" he was completely convinced that there was no true bottom. He would continue to fall through the increasingly small details of this figure. Forever.

Udil yawned and rolled onto his back. Looking "up", all he could see was an indistinct purple haze, like a night sky without any stars. He closed his eyes and felt the air rushing by. If he didn't stop falling any time soon he would probably end up dying of dehydration. He tried to ignore this and started to doze off as he continued to drop like a meteor into infinity.

For how long he slept, he couldn't venture to guess. But he never seemed to make it to the bottom. To his surprise, sleeping in free fall was mercifully pleasant. With no metal springs or lumpy pillow to keep him awake, he simply went limp and tumbled down to the unseen gravity well below. Later in life, he would remember that occasion as the best night's rest he probably ever had.

"I say Xonxt, look what got caught in our little Mandelbrot arrangement!" A voice said.

Udil woke with a start and flailed around to find the source of the voice.

"Oh my, you're right Zorg!"

"Look at how ugly it is! It only has three dimensions Xonxt!"

"Very gauche indeed Zorg!"

The voices seemed to come from all around him, even emanating from inside his body.

"He doesn't look too happy in there at all, does he Xonxt?"

"No Zorg I don't think he does!"

"Perhaps he'd like our help getting out?"

"Oh that is a wonderful idea indeed Zorg!"

Suddenly Udil could feel something pulling on his entire body. There was a flash of light as he was sent careening through space. All the while he was assaulted by a series of incomprehensible images and sounds. With a sickening lurch, he froze in midair. Floating in front of him were a pair of what looked like giant meatballs. These grew and shrank, sometimes splitting to form more of the alien shapes. The objects changed size, multiplied and divided as if by some impossible feat of magic.

"What are ye!?" Udil finally managed to bellow out.

"We are friends from the fourth dimension!" They said in unison. "And you seem to have fallen into our two-dimensional representation of a Mandelbrot set! Somehow!"

Udil struggled to get away. All the while the higher-dimensional beings floated around him and laughed.

"How did such a three-dimensional creature find their way here Zorg?"

"I don't have the faintest idea Xonxt!"

A wave of pain suddenly shot through Udil's body. It felt like a sudden, intense cramping or like something was trying to pull his insides out. He doubled over and clutched at his stomach, wimpering.

"Zorg, you really mustn't prod them on their insides like that! They don't enjoy it."

"I'm sorry Xonxt, I sometimes forget how these lower-dimensionals work!"

Udil managed to squeak some kind of response.

"I say Zorg...does this one look at all familiar to you?"

"Hmm, yes. Now that you mention it..."

A cosmic meatball floated towards his face and gently started to orbit around his head. Several others appeared in the air around his face. Gingerly, they pressed down on his head and slowly moved it this way and that. Udil quivered as he said a silent prayer to the Everfire. He clamped his eyes shut, trying to block out the mental image of his head being torn from his shoulders.

"Look at those little 3-D legs...and those livers inside it. If I know my extra-planar taxonomy, and I certainly do, I'd say this was a Dwarf Zorg!"

"I believe you are right Xonxt!"

"Don't eat me!" Udil shouted. The creatures laughed uproariously.

"Why would we ever want to eat such a small creature Xonxt?"

"It would pass right through us Zorg! Besides, he's not even made of the same matter as we! We are lucky none of us annihilate on contact!"

"We are indeed!"

"Where am I? What is this place!?" Udil said.

"Of course! His tiny eyes cannot even fathom his surroundings!"

"You are in Hyperbolia traveler! The land of four dimensions!"

"But he still looks familiar doesn't he Xonxt? And not just because he is a Dwarf!"

"You are right! There is something different about this Dwarf, something that can rarely be said about their kind!" They both laughed. Another meatball materialized and yanked on Udil's beard.

"Look at his rosy beard! And this little collection of crystals!"

"And look here! See this symbol on his outer layer?"

The two creatures prodded him as they murmured amongst each other. All at once, they gasped and loosened their grips on him.

"You don't think-"

"I do indeed Zorg!"

Suddenly, a watery, gelatinous bag appeared in the air in front of Udil's face. A large black spot, like a pupil slid into view from no direction in particular.

"Sir, are you Udil Bronzebolt? Champion of the Everfire, warrior of Feresia?"

Udil stammered. "...Who's asking?"

"It is indeed! A bonafide celebrity in our midst!"

"Exciting indeed Xonxt!"

The creatures started prodding him again. From all around came invisible claws or tentacles or something, pulling his hair or forcing his limbs around like a rag doll. To his horror, he felt something prying at the contents of his stomach.

"Look at all these souvenirs! Trinkets he's kept from his travels no doubt!"

"And now he's come to steal from our little corner of the multiverse! Exhilarating!"

Suddenly, half of Udil's canteen appeared in the air, with half the water sloshing around inside. It started to fade away, like slices of the canteen were being shaved away until it disappeared again. The entire canteen reappeared then disappeared again. The contents of his backpack were floating in the air around him. As he struggled against the forces keeping him in place he caught a glimpse of Scully floating through the air. The human skull he carried with him was melting away, leaving it's empty interior exposed for him to see.

"What is going on!?" She shouted. "What am I looking a-"

"Bring 'er back!"

"Back? From where? She never left!"

"Not at all! She is right here before your nose! Just ever so slightly into the fourth dimension!"

Scully suddenly reappeared spewing expletives. Just as quickly as she materialized, she vanished again.

"And back she goes! She's right there, but so far out of reach!"

"Zorg, it is impolite to tease the lower-dimensionals!" They both laughed.

"Udil, is it true you were reborn to a human woman once?"

"And that you were summoned by the Cult of Shuth-Meleth on accident?"

"Uh, well..." He stammered.

"And is it true that you testified before the Xa Hegemony on behalf of the Kretak Supreme?"

"The what now?"

"Surely you remember the Supreme! It is the most prestigious of three-dimensional lifeforms! It was greatly honored by your testimony!"

"Lads...I...I've never 'eard of a Kretak."

They both gasped. "Esteemed Bronzebolt, surely you don't mean to tell us that in addition to living in only three dimensions of space, you still inhabit only one dimension of time?"

"What in Armok's name is a dimens-"

"The poor creature! I believe he only experiences time linearly Xonxt!"

"I'm afraid you're right Zorg!"

"What are ye talkin' aboot!?"

"Forgive us esteemed Dwarf. But I'm afraid we have just alluded to events that, for you, have not transpired yet!"

"It is good he isn't in his own timeline right now Zorg!"

"A frightening paradox indeed Xonxt! But I shudder to think...living in a timeline? I find even a timeplane cramped at times!"

"You should move around those times then!" They both laughed. The eye-like bag reappeared.

"We cannot help you with your time-problem, sadly. But perhaps while you are here we can give you a taste of life in four spatial dimensions?"

"Very charitable indeed Zorg!"

"What does that mean?" Udil said.

"You would not become 4-D like us of course, not even we have the biomancy to perform such a feat. But we can fire a beam into your eyes, allowing you to see light as we do. For a brief time, we can let you see four dimensions!"

"Physicists everywhere would relish such an opportunity!"

"I don't know..."

"Please? We would be honored to show you! It would be a gesture of goodwill from one dimension to another!"

"As long as ye stop pokin' me innards!"

"Of course!"

"An' gimmie back me stuff!"

"Absolutely!"

Just as Udil considered agreeing a beam of white light was fired into his eyes. He cried out as his eyes quivered in their sockets. The landscape around him started to melt, or started expanding, he wasn't sure which. Everything seemed to be stretching, growing sharper. He felt like his vision was becoming clearer, but he couldn't put into words exactly how. His eyes watered as the muscles in his face quaked uncontrollably. The whole world was unfolding around him.

"Well?"

"I...can see...everything..." Udil said.

It all suddenly made so much sense. Why couldn't he see any of this before? It seemed so obvious. There was an odd cubical shape in the distance. As his eyes adjusted he could see the entire surface of the cube; front, back, top, bottom. Not only that, he could see inside and watch the squirming, worm-like creatures living inside. And he could see inside of them. The entirety of every object was suddenly laid bare for him to see. He couldn't just see a certain angle of the objects around him, but the entire three-dimensional form, unfolded for him to see.

"Udil...what did they do? Why are you looking at me like that...?" Scully said.

To him, the skull looked like a blossoming white flower, reaching towards and away from him, receding into a distance he had no name for yet. The entire outer surface was there, laid out like a sheet as her hollow inside was pulled open to see. Every crack and crevice was there. She had become a kaleidoscope image, the whole world was an explosion of light and form the likes of which he had never seen before.

"Lass...it's beautiful."

"Yeah, no. That's where I draw the line. Change him back."

"But he is enjoying himself so much!"

"Now you see it esteemed Bronzebolt? Whereas you, a three-dimensional creature can see into a square and see every portion of it, inside and out, we, as four-dimensionals can see the entirety of a cube, inside and out."

Udil turned to see his captors for the first time. He suppressed a scream as he tried to make sense of what he was looking at; hundreds of appendages, not quite tentacles, but not quite claws either, were writhing in the air. Dozens of eyes dotted the molted grey surfaces of the enormous beings as their long antennae whipped around in rhythmic unison. The two beings weren't inside-out like the rest of the scenery. Their waving hides rippled as they danced in place, the three dimensional surfaces of four dimensional creatures. They stuck out a long appendage, appearing from beyond their bodies to keep Udil from stumbling over.

If seeing a three-dimensional object in four dimensions was beautiful, seeing Xonxt and Zorg as they were meant to be seen was like a miracle. Udil couldn't help but break down crying.

"Now you see what you have been missing? And consider, to us this is every day reality."

"Why couldn't I see this before?"

"How could you? Before now you lived in mere space, never knowing the greater elegance that is hyperspace."

"Just imagine it Zorg; to a denizen of Flatland, our esteemed Dwarf would be the extraordinary higher-dimensional. And he would be the one teasing them with his incredible third dimension. And here we are, doing the same with our fourth."

"Perhaps someday we will receive a visit from a five-dimensional Xonxt!"

"Over my dead body Zorg!"

Udil was breathlessly taking in his surroundings. The whole world seemed new to him. An entirely new direction of motion was opened before his eyes, a whole facet of existence he had no idea was there before. It seemed so obvious, so perfect. He was ashamed that he wasn't aware of it before.

Overjoyed by what he was seeing he looked down at his hands.

A wave of nausea washed over him as he saw the skin of his hands peeled away, revealing the muscles below. That was peeled away, revealing the pulsating blood vessels, which were opened to show the pumping blood coursing in and around his hands. His bones were floating in midair, appearing both inside and out, the gooey marrow visible wherever he looked..

His eyes traced the length of his arms. Everywhere it was the same; he had been dissected from the inside out. Now every muscle, every vein, every organ was suspended sickeningly in midair. As he looked down at his chest he could see his tattered green shirt, occupying the same space was the brand of the Everfire, his ribs floating like a grisly chandelier. His heart pulsated like a fleshy flower in his chest, blood flowing in and around it in utter defiance of gravity. His whole body had exploded, every square inch of his person had been made visible.

"Udil, are you alright?"

He tried to shut his eyes, but he could only see his own eyelids sliding into place. Somehow, he could also see around them. No matter how hard he tried, the whole world remained open to him. He suddenly felt lightheaded as he could see the blood rushing past his own brain. Zorg reached out a limb to keep him upright. All he could do was watch as the appendage somehow managed to reach past his organs and grasp at his shirt collar. It's suction cups latched onto it from seemingly every angle possible.

"Perhaps...this is a little much to take in all at once."

"Yes, perhaps that is enough of the fourth dimension for now."

Udil was suddenly afraid to stand, worried that he might topple over and scrap his kidneys on the rocky floor. He looked down at the whirling vortices of meat he called his legs and stared deep into floor. It was rock. It was all rock. Rock all the way down. Terror seized him as he realized it: He was seeing clear through the other side of the world.

"I think we've made a terrible mistake Zorg."

A salty taste welled up in the vicinity of Udil's mouth. He looked down at his wagging tongue, watching as the muscles that used to be inside it contracted involuntarily. A cold sweat broke out somewhere as he felt himself starting to retch. He tried to look away. But no matter where he turned he could always see his own body suspended in the air from every conceivable angle, interior and exterior. No matter where he turned he couldn't help but see himself. Suddenly he noticed his stomach gurgling, the slimy contents of which were forcing itself past his esophagus. All at once, a stream of vomited shot out, or in, he wasn't sure. Udil crumbled to the floor, whimpering; covered, once again, in his own vomit.

"Perhaps we should apologize Zorg."

"I think it's too late for that Xonxt."

Nobody Tosses A Dwarf

I feel like I've finally gotten to the point where I can say I'm accustomed to Dwarf Fortress and it's ridiculous interface. So much in fact that I've finally been able to build my magnum opus of architecture...

...BEEBATTLES!

This has been my most successful, most well protected fortress yet. Although I've had fortresses with higher populations, only Beebattles has proven to be a true bastion of Dwarven civilization. The layout was based off a bedroom design I found on the wiki, and expanded outward from there, resulting in the plus-sign shape of the final product. Here, you can see the dining room, most of the stockpiles and workshops, arranged around the first eighty bedrooms like a ring.

Closer to the entrance we find the food stockpiles, including our supply of booze. As you know, the stereotypical fantasy dwarf loves alcohol. These dwarves take that one step further by being physically dependent on the stuff. If they aren't constantly drunk, dwarves will start to work more slowly, taking more breaks between jobs and generally just getting easier to get upset. Even babies who were just born yesterday will need a drink every now and then. In this same area you can see where I deviated from my original layout and started to build however it suited me. Those sprawling, tentacle-like tunnels lead to the beehives, housing our population of trained killer bumblebees who numbered in the hundreds of thousands by the time it was all said and done. The hives are protected with grates in the ceiling, allowing access to the surface without letting in any unwanted visitors.

That means anyone who wants in has to go through the trap-lined hallway. Only despair waits for them there.

Our defenses our two-fold; first are the weapon traps, symbolized by the red spikes, ^. Almost all of these are loaded with huge serrated saw blades, with at least three each, sometimes even more. Now guess what the result of a goblin stepping on that is. Did you guess a shower of blood? Because you would be right. During sieges, it's common to see arms and legs messily separated from their owners and thrown in every direction at high speed. It's a hassle to clean up afterwards but so satisfying to see the invaders burst like overripe melons.

The other set of defenses are the cage traps, symbolized by the green spikes, ^. These capture hostiles without actually harming them and you might notice, are deployed before the weapon traps, so casualties are minimized during sieges. I know I said earlier how satisfying it is to see goblins hacked apart by the saw blades. But the truth is I like to keep as many of them alive as possible...

...so they can be taken to a special stockpile in the back of the fortress, stripped of their clothing, weapons and armor, beaten to a pulp, then either locked in the dungeon or thrown in the arena. The horrifying funny thing about this is that we've actually come to rely on the frequent sieges to supply our population with much needed supplies. Why forge your own weapons when the Goblins come to deliver theirs in person? Why make your own clothes when you can just wear what the Goblins came with? This is especially handy because clothes wear out over time. So unless you have an organized textile industry you'll have plenty of Dwarves grumbling about the tattered rags they're wearing. But not Beebattles, we're practically overflowing with troll fur robes and cloaks.

In general, I devote the layer immediately below the workshops and stockpile to housing. And these bedrooms are almost always arranged in a tessellated pattern, to extend the beehive analogy even further. Ordinarily nothing else it built on the bedroom level, but Beebattles in an exception. Every so often, we station our military in the aforementioned arena, visible at the top left of the screen. Then, one at a time, captured goblins are thrown in to be slaughtered. This has the duel purpose of getting rid of unwanted prisoners and increasing the soldier's skills in combat. The original plan was to have a huge monster living down there, like a minotaur. But no such creature ever came by.

It's a shame, no doubt about it. But remember: Goblins are dying horribly nonetheless. And at the end of the day that's what really matters.

On the same Z-level as the apartments are the farms. That's where the real party's at. Here is were we grow our precious plump helmets, a kind of small purple mushrooms. These can either be eaten raw, cooked (which we never do), or brewed into Dwarven Ale. Naturally, almost all of what we harvest is rendered into precious, life-giving alcohol to fuel the fortress. Although you might be wondering why it looks like half the farms were flooded at some point and abandoned.

Well that's because they were, but it wasn't my fault. Back in the original run of Beebattles, we didn't have the insane number of traps we do now. So if there was an especially large invasion the Goblins they could just throw huge numbers of soldiers into the blades until all the accumulated gore gummed up the mechanisms and rendered the traps inoperative. Then they could just climb over the bodies and ransack the place. This was how Beebattles was destroyed the first time around after all.

In any case, a couple trolls chased a cat into the farms and must have gotten lost down there. In their dim-witted rage, they smashed open a floodgate used to irrigate the land, immediately flooding the whole farm with water from the river. By the time I noticed what had happened, it was already too late to fix it. Sadly, I don't think the trolls drowned afterwards.

Meanwhile, the land outside has been transformed into a hellish wasteland. And I admit, it's partially my fault this time. Partially.

We tend to keep our livestock outside where they can graze. Yes, this usually means they're more vunerable to attack, but I neither have the space for them, nor do I particularly care about the well being of the animals migrants bring with them. But during the rare peaceful interludes without invasions, all the animals we've accumulated are busy eating the local flora, resulting in a lifeless, overworked layer of clay on the surface. Combine this with our ceaseless lumber operation and the result it a flat, barren field. Utterly featureless, if you ignore the huge mounds of dead bodies around the entrance.

It's not like I'm going to leave all those dead Goblins inside. Instead we dump them in not one, but three of our special refuse stockpiles where the birds can pick at them. So not only are there no plants to be found in this desert wasteland. But there's countless numbers of blanched bones strewn about, with buzzards flying overhead at all times, as if there weren't enough warnings about how unfriendly this place was already.

But that's not all. Later on, we breached the first cavern layer and got a visit from the most underwhelming Forgotten Beast in the world.

The Forgotten Beast Fimere Recicirono Tise Lafo has come! A gigantic blob composed of snow. It has a round shell and it undulates rhythmically.

Fortunately, the only way into the fortress from the cavern was a hole in the ceiling we used to dump trash in. Since it was too high up and our uninvited guest couldn't fly, he was basically stuck down there, brooding and shaking his frosty fist in impotent rage.

In any case you can see him at the bottom left side of the screen, he's the 'B' standing at the edge of the uncovered cavern.

Eventually I decided Beebattles was more or less complete. It was time to take what I learned there and apply it to even larger, even more deadly fortresses in the future. I retired as administrator there, with an ending population exceeding one hundred and fifty.

But in the meantime, I decided to take a look at some of the fan-made modifications to the game. These would typically be things like new weapons, or tweaks to the existing content. Some of the more ambitious projects add completely new creatures to the game. With that in mind, guess what's living in my game now?

Oh nothing...JUST DALEKS.

Say hello to Dale Hatespeech. His hobbies include quests, tomb raiding and genocide. As of this writing he's killed over three-hundred sentient beings and not once has he felt any remorse for his actions, not even for the time he exterminated an entire Kobold civilization over the course of a single night.

Is it wrong to introduce an advanced alien menace to a Medieval fantasy world? Absolutely, but I'm still gonna do it anyway.

Well that's all for now. But know this: I've only just begun to enact my evil schemes for this world I've generated. By the time I'm done I expect the whole planet to be engulfed in flame, inhabited by nothing but Daleks and Dwarves. Perhaps it's time to enact the next stage of this plan...something to the tune of Operation: Drain The Ocean.