For the Rest of My Life

I have a very good reason why I haven't posted anything on here since last month. Basically, I graduated High School.

Yay!

To everyone's surprise, I was deemed acceptable to join society at large after I "completed a course of studies in accordance with the requirements of the State Board of Education for Graduation" from my school and therefore was rewarded a shiny new diploma. Whether it was a terrible mistake of the State of California to give me this power has yet to be determined.
In the meantime, I've been busy writing thank you cards and partying it up. There's been much cake to be had by all here. The strange feeling has already passed after I've spent a week not going to school. I can tell you now, I already miss the opportunity to interrupt my classes by giving impromptu lectures. No doubt that my first place of employment will have to let me make similar speeches or I won't be there long.

All my bros and I have agreed that we need to stay in contact now that we're all adults doing adult activities. Ordinarily this would mean we're condemned to never speak again, but seeing as how everyone in my social circle (including my awful awful sister) is on Steam this shouldn't be a problem.

With school out of the way I can focus on what truly matters. All my attention can go to preparing for the future, to setting right what has gone wrong. Armed with the knowledge I have acquired I can make a difference in this world. There are problems in our society that need fixing and I think I have the solution. It'll be difficult, but with enough hard work and sheer grit I think my generation can solve this problem that has been plaguing the people of this great nation for far too long.

What I am talking about, of course, is Daleks.

The new Daleks introduced in the second half of Victory of the Daleks to be precise.



Look at those things. Those are not Daleks, those are toys. For children. They are hunchbacks, they are plastic, they are brightly colored disco bumper-cars and they simply will not do.




They're even worse in diagram-form. Look at how bulbous they are. Everything about them is too big and awkward looking. Their eye-stalks are big and bulbous, so are their plungers. Speaking of which, I'm pretty sure their gun-sticks are bigger than the old Dalek's plungers even. I'm not pointing any fingers here, but I'm sure a certain Doctor Sigmund Freud would have something to say about their insecurities and repressed feelings, especially so considering the fabulous color schemes they appear in.



"Sometimes a plunger is not just a plunger..." -Freud

As you may recall, in Dale's first post here he mentioned this same episode before going on a Scarlet Johansson induced rant. He probably never actually watched the episode or else he would have marched across the Atlantic Ocean, stormed into the BBC building and rip Steve Moffat's face right off. It's a bit late for that now so I'll just let him tell you in his own words how he found out about these abominations...

HOW DALE FOUND OUT HE WAS BEING REPLACED BY ABOMINATIONS
BY DALE

GREET-INGS IN-FER-IOR LIFE-FORMS. I AM DALE. THIS IS A PHO-TO-GRAPH OF MY BROS AND I WORK-ING AT THE OFF-CE. THIS IS WHERE WE PLAN ALL OUR EVIL DEEDS.

THAT IS DA-LEK CHUCK SITT-ING IN THE CUBICLE NEXT TO ME. EV-ER-Y-ONE AT THE OFF-ICE IS CON-CERN-ED ABOUT HIS DRINK-ING HA-BITS.



LA-TER THAT DAY I WAS SPEAK-ING TO DALEK THAX ABOUT THE NEW SEASON OF DOCT-OR WHO. WE WERE HAVING A DIS-A-GREE-MENT ABOUT WHO IS WORSE: THE DOC-TOR OR HIS BOW-TIE. THE SUB-JECT OF THE MAS-TER-RACE (CODEWORD FOR THE DALEKS!) CAME UP, HE TOLD ME THAT WE WERE RE-PLA-CED BY A NEW MO-DEL.



WE CON-SUL-TED DALEK CHUCK FOR MORE IN-FOR-MA-TION REGARDING THE NEW PARA-DIGM DALEKS AND IMMEEEEEEDIAT-LY REGRETTED THE DESCISION.

WE VOMIT-ED IN RAGE FOR THE NEXT FIVE THOUSAND RELS (DALEK UNIT OF TIME EQUAL TO 1.5 EARTH SECONDS) AND BURNT DOWN AN OR-PHAN-AGE. AFTER THAT, WE HAD A TEN THOU-SAND REL THER-A-PEU-TIC SCREAM-ING SESSION TO COPE WITH THIS AWFUL NEWS.



THE SCREAMING THERAPY DID NOTHING TO EXTINGUISH OUR RAGE AND NO AMOUNT OF AROMATHERAPY BATH-SALTS COULD HELP SO WE CREATED A MASTER-PLAN TO DESTROY THE IMPURE DALEKS.

THIS IS A PICTURE OF ME INSTRUCTING THE BOARD ON OUR PLAN. I WAS VOTED CHAIRDALEK OF THE BOARD AFTER I EX-TER-MIN-A-TED THE PRE-VI-OUS CHAIRDALEK.



WE MOVED IN-TO POS-I-TION TO ATT-ACK THE IMPURE DALEKS' HOME IN WEST HOLLYWOOD. DA-LEK KAHN FOR-GOT TO BRING S-NACKS.



THE "ETERNAL" DALEK AN-SWERED THE DOOR, THINK-ING WE WERE PIZZADALEKS SENT TO DE-LIVER A PIZZA. WE EXTERMINATED IT AND STARTED BURNING THE IN-TERIOR OF THEIR HOME. WE DID NOT SPARE THEIR EX-PEN-SIVE LEA-THER SO-FA.



WE FOUND A COPY OF THE SPICE GIRLS MOVIE ON DVD UPSTAIRS. WE EXTERMINATED IT!!!



AFTER WE EXTERMINATED THE IMPURE DALEKS EVERYONE WENT OUTSIDE TO FOR A GROUP POSE. I MIGHT PUT THIS LAST PICTURE IN MY PORTFOLIO ALONG WITH ALL MY OTHER GLAMOUR SHOTS. SEEING AS HOW STEEEEVE MOFFAT HAS LEFT ME WITHOUT A JOB I HAVE LITTLE CHOICE.

I AM HOPEFUL THAT THE PEOPLE FROM THE BBC WILL CALL ME BACK, THEY SAID THAT I'D BE A GREAT PRESENTER ON MASTERPIECE THEATER!!!