First, the players themselves: Nick is playing as Minamillion, human sorcerer. Haydn's character is Wilfred Sanddrinker, kobold tabloid journalist and all around sociopath. Then there's Obtuse Goose who's been playing as 0M-4R-U, an enormous, ten foot tall nuclear powered robot with a mining laser attached to his shoulder.
All that needs to be said about the plot of my game is that everyone's been living in a vast radioactive desert, inhabited by all manner of prospectors hoping to strike it rich mining the deposits of uranium ore. There were a few competing factions who the players could either ally themselves with or fight but the players killed all the important characters almost as quickly as they met them. So as of right now, there isn't really a plot or story so much as there's three crazed bandits roaming around the desert looking for people to kill.
In this picture we see 0M-4R-U and Wilfred riding through a brush fire they started. There used to be an important alchemist living in the thorn thickets north of town, but the players never got around to doing his quest. Instead, they burnt down his home, destroyed all his research and tried to convince him he started the fire himself. When that didn't work they shot him to death.
You'll notice 0M-4R-U has a gaggle of women perched on this shoulder. A few weeks ago his character started experimenting with being a bit of a robotic sugar daddy and managed to muster an impressive number of babes to join his entourage.
To be honest, one of my favorite things about this game has been Nick's interpretations of the events, especially his idea of Obtuse Goose's character. But as you can see below, Haydn had his own ideas:
Later, the players got trapped in an abandoned research facility and faced a fearsome creature known as a Hadris, which is a malevolent cloud of ammonia nitrate gas that seeks to destroy all life. The players struggled to find a way to defeat the evil cloud until Minamillion realized he could cast a spell that would break down the atomic structure of the otherwise invulnerable Hadris. His spell exposed them all to deadly radiation but they did manage to dissipate the cloud so we counted it as a victory. They're still sterile though.
Here's Minamillion getting half his faced dissolved by the Hadris' deadly acid touch.
It was around the same time that they were trying to kill the evil ammonia that Wilfred decided to try and kill off all of Omaru's babes. Since he's only one foot tall and didn't want to attract any attention to himself he tried to lure them, one by one, into the waiting mist of the Hadris. In spite of his best efforts, only Amber succumbed to the acrid wraith of the cloud.
After the Hadris was defeated the players explored the rest of the facility since they were still technically on a quest from the local baker/mob boss. While looking for an advanced radiation-detecting seismograph they stumbled across an enormous jellyfish living in the ventilation system.
Here we see their minion and all around coward Mikial getting dragged back to the jellyfish's lair as Wilfred does his best to try and save him. Mikial used to be a respected mage of the Swamp King's court but Wilfred punched the king in question and plunged his kingdom into civil war. Mikial's been traveling with the players ever since. Truth be told, he has been a useful addition to their party, especially since he has the ability to magically dispel radiation on command. I've been trying to kill him off for this very reason, as he's the only thing standing between me and giving everyone radiation-induced vomiting fits.
After their adventure in the lab, the players returned to town, got into a fight with the sheriff, burned down the entire town, their previous employer and any last traces of a coherent plot that were still clinging on by that point. They also picked up another minion along the way; Travis "Boomit" Splinterpeak, elven mechanic, pyromaniac and all around lunatic.
Meanwhile, the players were planning on paying a visit to their good friends, the Bristlefur Clan. The Bristlefurs had survived a previous run in the players. They happened across 0M-4R-U carrying a bus down the road one day and were so impressed they pulled over to take pictures.
Well Wilfred wasn't having any of that so he rolled to convince Obtuse Goose that the camera was actually a death ray and the miners were trying to melt through his reactor casing. Obtuse, who was barely paying attention at the time, agreed to kill them. Using his laser, he melted clean through the armor of the Bristlefur's tank and managed to kill an intern in the ensuing explosion.
Satisfied with the destruction they had caused, the players went on their merry way to kill an unrelated group of hyena-people. What they didn't count on was the camera surviving the fight. The surviving Bristlefurs happened across the wreckage, found the singed photos of the giant robot and assumed the worst.
The fight with the surviving Bristlefurs and their last remaining tank would take too long to describe. All you really need to know is that there was an hour-long debate on whether or not they could knock Wilfred off the tank by smacking him in the head with the gun. I said they could and everyone else maintained that he was too short and it would pass harmlessly over his head.
Haydn managed to complain enough and got his way. I let Wilfred hang on for dear life as the turret tried to swat him off, only because I didn't want to hear him complain about this for months and months afterwards. I know he would. But what everyone seemed to forget was that while he was riding the tank around like a mechanical bull, everyone else was still attacking it with all their most powerful weapons. He was nearly crushed by a typewriter at least twice, was blinded by a laser blast and actually fell off at least one other time. So I'm still happy about that at least.
Here's Nick's 'evidence' from the debate, showing the turret harmlessly passing over Wilfred's head with an ineffectual 'woosh'.
Meanwhile, Nick tried to confuse the miners with an illusion spell; trying everything from images of hundreds of tanks, piles of raw meat and the miner's own mother to get them to surrender. Here's an artistic interpretation of the event:
Finally there's this:
Posts
